the gathered knowledge of the species
! SPDX-License-Identifier: MIT ! Copyright (c) 2025 Jorge Luis Galvez Vallejo !! the gathered knowledge of the species module pic_knowledge !! a simple module that collects phrases and prints them out randomly, like fortune use pic_types, only: int32, dp use pic_logger, only: logger => global_logger use pic_string_type, only: string_type, assignment(=), char implicit none private integer(int32), parameter :: banner_width = 80 !! width of the asterisk rows that frame the printed lore public :: get_knowledge contains subroutine get_knowledge(print_all) !! I print random knowledge logical, optional, intent(in) :: print_all type(string_type), allocatable :: knowledge(:) integer(int32) :: n, idx real(dp) :: r allocate (knowledge(90)) knowledge(1) = "The long line! (CS,2023)" knowledge(2) = "Maybe I have the Fortran brain-rot in Dijkstra's words (IP,2025)" knowledge(3) = "Mojo, yes, do I approve it, no. (IP, 2025)" knowledge(4) = "No, rice does not contain gluten (EG, dawn of time)" knowledge(5) = "Yes, potatoes are gluten free (EG, dawn of time)" knowledge(6) = "Stonks (MS, 2019)" knowledge(7) = "Praise the machine god" knowledge(8) = "Maybe I WILL use a more efficient language: Fortran (Jorge, to CS)" knowledge(9) = "No one owns Makefiles!" knowledge(10) = "Why did you choose CMake over any other build system? Jorge: Stockholm Syndrome?" knowledge(11) = "That is exactly what Bjarne Sostrup intended when he created C++ - in response to RS doing an abomination in C++, by CS" knowledge(12) = "lmao yes vibe climate coding, (MW, private communication 2026)" knowledge(13) = "so a lot of it is very informed physical vibes and we can verify the vibes vibe, (Jorge, 2026)" knowledge(14) = "I now understand why my understanding was not right (MW,2025)" knowledge(15) = "I imagine the results are usefully unphysical (MW, 2025)" knowledge(16) = "Hmm I just got notified that the do not merge branch, got merged" knowledge(17) = "We have no ETA. We wait. (Pawsey, 2024)" knowledge(18) = "Dale dug a hole. Tell 'em Dale!" knowledge(19) = "Tell him he's dreamin!" knowledge(20) = "On what constitutional basis do you base your arguments? The vibes, your honour" knowledge(21) = "Unfortunately life isn't quadratic - Schlegel" knowledge(22) = "In stressful situations, please resort to eating chocolate. (Fazeleh's life mantra)" knowledge(23) = "There are three constants in life. Death, Taxes, and Vim." knowledge(24) = "A tri-triathlon, you do a triathlon...three times!" knowledge(25) = "I've been caught like the tiger of Santa Julia (Mexican saying)" knowledge(26) = "Shrimp that falls asleep is carried away by the current (Mexican saying)" knowledge(27) = "So you can see on which side the iguana bites (Mexican saying)" knowledge(28) = "*mexican whistle of approval* (Mexican kinda saying)" knowledge(29) = "Let's dig in that is mole de olla (Mexican saying)" knowledge(30) = "Para todo mal, mezcal; y para todo bien, también" knowledge(31) = "The broth ended up more expensive than the meatballs (mexican saying)" knowledge(32) = "When you're just going to the butcher, I'm already frying the milanesas (mexican saying)" knowledge(33) = "You've added too much cream to your tacos (Mexican saying)" knowledge(34) = "The chahuitsle already fell on us (Mexican saying)" knowledge(35) = "The clown has carried us (Mexican saying)" knowledge(36) = "The devil knows more because he's old, not because he's the devil (Mexican saying)" knowledge(37) = "Oh no, they've flipped the tortilla on me (Mexican saying)" knowledge(38) = "Gotta measure the water of the sweet potatoes (Mexican saying)" knowledge(39) = "It has smoked a lighthouse (Mexican saying)" knowledge(40) = "The sun burns very much (Mexican saying)" knowledge(41) = "Australia went to war against the Emus in 1932, this event is called the Great Emu War. Australia lost. " knowledge(42) = "Ah you got a shower. (Edgar's dad, the ancient Mexican scriptures)" knowledge(43) = "4 tomatillos, 2 serranos, salt, pepper, 5 cloves of garlic, half an onion and a pinch of cilantro." knowledge(44) = "Life is short, make it shorter. (Jorge, talking about butter pumps at American cinemas)" knowledge(45) = "Even a blind chicken finds a grain. (Slovenian saying)" knowledge(46) = "If vim ceased to exist, I would quit programming." knowledge(47) = "If you're running global models you've given up on correct physics" knowledge(48) = "What do you think about bloodletting? - I think it is a very effective placebo!" knowledge(49) = "The joy of Fortran is the compiler bugs you get to find! (Jorge)" knowledge(50) = "Essentially, all models are wrong, but some are useful. (George E. P. Box)" knowledge(51) = "With a small enough timestep anything can run! (MW)" knowledge(52) = "Take your cheese seriously, but not yourself" knowledge(53) = "Cows are fuzzy about their grass, but sheep? Couldn't care less!" knowledge(54) = "Why is it called William? Because we have a sense of humor!" knowledge(55) = "I had such low expectations because their name sounded cute, but it was fantastic!" knowledge(56) = "The odds are good but the goods are odd...(someone talking about dating in Hobart)" knowledge(57) = "there's a lot of good apples, some of them are pears" knowledge(58) = "it's a doggy dog world!" knowledge(59) = "As I'm sweating into my soup I was questioning how I got there" knowledge(60) = "just paintings with Billy everywhere" knowledge(61) = "Lizicide!" knowledge(62) = "double Lizicide" knowledge(63) = "we've got spy advise!" knowledge(64) = "all change is bad!" knowledge(65) = "It just a stone throw away! a big stone...and a long throw, but still!" knowledge(66) = "Throw the house at it!" knowledge(67) = "Damn that's a big damn (hehe)" knowledge(68) = ":q" knowledge(69) = "Welcome to the 9D action cinema! Any questions?" knowledge(70) = "Are you trying to show us the German Bakery or the big hole?" knowledge(71) = "Gravy is thick, involves coconut; curry is thin" knowledge(72) = ":q!" knowledge(73) = "Running on a treadmill sucks" knowledge(74) = "That sounds good but it requires movement..." knowledge(75) = "Sometimes in order to do the right thing, you have to do the wrong thing" knowledge(76) = "When life hands you lemons...throw them back!" knowledge(77) = "My name is Macedonio Silverio and I am here to kill you" knowledge(78) = "Don't eat the street food or your stomach might try to fight back" knowledge(79) = "Why are you writing a 400k line cuda kernel in the first place?" knowledge(80) = "If you feel like you need me, please hesistate to contact me" knowledge(81) = "Yeah writing an SC paper is fun! It's lots of pain, but fun!" knowledge(82) = "It's a bad day to be a beer" knowledge(83) = "0.o'clock" knowledge(84) = "Maybe I'll just put more butter in" knowledge(85) = "3 quesadillas and a big glass of chocomilk = happiness" knowledge(86) = "What's the secret to tasty rice? Lard" knowledge(87) = "Never forget to oil your chiles before toasting them, otherwise the skin won't come off as easily" knowledge(88) = "Be wary, he's afraid of televisions" knowledge(89) = "If we had monkeys in Scotland we'd deep fry them!" knowledge(90) = "after midday only dogs drink water (Mexican saying)" n = size(knowledge) call random_seed() call random_number(r) idx = int(r*n) + 1 if (idx > n) idx = n call logger%knowledge(repeat("*", banner_width)) call logger%knowledge(trim(char(knowledge(idx)))) call logger%knowledge(repeat("*", banner_width)) if (present(print_all)) then if (print_all) then block integer(int32) :: i call logger%knowledge(repeat("*", banner_width)) do i = 1, size(knowledge) call logger%knowledge(trim(char(knowledge(i)))) end do call logger%knowledge(repeat("*", banner_width)) end block end if end if end subroutine get_knowledge end module pic_knowledge